i'm big now.

now that she's 5, sometimes i let kate walk in the parking lot without holding my hand.

this makes me sad.

she's happy because it makes her feel like she's a "big girl" now.

but, it's a reminder that she's growing up. she still loves to cuddle and hang out, but i love her little hand tucked in mine.

*********

so she went for her 5 year old well child exam today.

she's now 34 pounds and 40 1/4 inches tall.

after 4 shots, she was a little sad and clung to me like a koala to a tree.

i held her tight and let her bury her little face in my arm.

*********

after a power nap we headed to gymnastics.

she bounced her way around the gym like a playground ball.

as i picked her up from class, her instructor said to me, "with her, you may invest enough money that you'll own half this gym. don't pressure her...let her have fun...but she's a natural."

on the way home kate says, "when can i go be with the big girls at the gym?"

i said, "if you keep going with gymnastics and you like it, you can be with the big girls someday."

the reply: "i like gymnastics and i want to get good."

...as long as i can still hold you little hand...and cuddle...and you let me hold me when you hurt...

just stuck...

Parenting is a unique experience. I'm not sure if there is anything else that causes such a wide range of emotions...in a single day. For example, today was one of those days. Moments of joy, frustration, pride, shock and disgust. It was one of those days when the best chilled white wine couldn't have made it better.

Sam is constipated. stopped. full of bricks. unwilling to move. making diamonds.

it's miserable. for him. me. runner boy. kate.

We've been to the m.d., called the m.d., tried the m.d.'s suggestion and yet, he's unmoved.

Here's the recipe:

Add copious amounts of mir*a*lax to food and drink. Wait. Add more fluid to gut. Wait 24 hours. Check results. If negative yield, go to step 2.

Step 2) Add a pellet of glycerin to bum. Allow pellet to come to body temperature and check results. If no luck, consult kiddie m.d.

Step 3) Convince child that parent is "here to help" and add enema to posterior colonic outlet. Assure miserable child that it hurts you more than them...stuff guilty feelings down because this will make child more comfortable and fix the problem.

Step 4) Mop up vomit resulting from child being stuffed with pooh, and reach for more mir*a*lax.

Step 5) Speed dial m.d.

Step 6) Peruse the entire Rx aisle for solutions. Notice gummy fruit chews that expedite food through the gut. (Parent now assured that this multifaceted approach--enema, suppository, mir*a*lax and gummy chews will to the trick.)

Parent offers Sam fruity gummy laxative treat upon arriving home. Sam flatly rejects offer. Kate immediately inhales one and poops 2 hours later.

Step 7) Speed dial m.d.

Step 8) Take it to the next level. Chocolate ex*lax this time. Am told this is a trick of the experts. Sam likes chocolate--should be great--I could hear the flushing in my mind.

Parent offers yummy chocolate to Sam. "I noooo whannnn it..." he whines. Kate pipes up with..."Chocolate? can I have some?" like a fly on...well...poop.

Step 9) Think outside the box...time for a specialist. Make appointment with the "constipation and reflux evaluation" clinic at local kiddies medical center.

After about a week of this, we are tired and Sam is so uncomfortable. Tonight he cried a little and just put his little arm around my neck and held on. What conflicting emotions...frustration with the circumstances and yet so grateful that this little dude is part of our lives. I savored those moments with his arm holding me close, thanked God and asked form a little more help.

night time prayers...

every night we ask the kids who they would

like to pray for...

tonight was no different...

Parent: "Sam who would you like to pray for?"

Sam: "aaah, everybody and God"

(...i'm sure He appreciates the thought, but from what i hear, He's got it all together...)

Parent: "Kate, who would you like to pray for?

Kate: "Pascal (our cat). Dear Jesus, help us to have a good night-night an' good sleepies. Help Sammy to not pull on Pascal's tail and chase him. Amen"

i gotta question...

Kate: "So ahhh, when God made light, did He just say, "Please, can there be light? or did He yell?"

Dizzy

i'm so dizzy...

my heart is spinnin'...

whirling dervish...

tornado...

eye of the hurricane...

blurry...

cyclone...

whirligig...

rotation...

oscillate...

spiral...

revolving...

...she thinks she's a human helicopter...

faces in the park...

ever feel like you're being watched?

by a cute hunk at the park?

you take a look at those big, blue eyes...and cute profile...

and that winsome smile...

...and you know that even though his first full sentence was "No, I don't want to!" and he thinks every word ends with poopy...

...you can't help it...you're in love...

hangin' around

Does anything seem wrong with these pictures?

Perhaps it's that she is on the outside of the slide...good point...

Or is that it she is going up instead of down the slide...good eye...

Or is it that she forgot to put on her helmet...I know, I know...

Or is it that this kid is really a monkey?

testing gravity

is the way Orville and Wilbur Wright started?


We were all about catching air today...

Monkey See...

Monkey Do...

Sam is trying to do what his "Sissy" does. However, there are just some things he should not emulate...more pics on that later!

first day...

Sam had a great 1st day...no tears, no sadness and a happy smile when I picked him up.

I listened to the kids converse at the lunch table about Sam's day:

Kate: did you play ousside today?

Sam: no, I didn't.

Kate: did you play in da gym today?

Sam; no, I didn't.

Kate: did you have choice time? (kids get to pick their activity)

Sam: yes, I did.

Kate: what did you have for snack?

Sam: teddy bears.

Kate: ohhhh!

it was so cute...

winds of change...

The seasons are changing...and I'm a little sad. It's not that I don't enjoy fall, it's the inevitable winter that follows.

It starts with the "back to school" displays at the store...then the school supply lists arrive in the mail...then the calender starts to fill up with fall obligations...and if that's not enough, the tips of the trees begin to look a little red.

On Thursday, Kate had her orientation for K-4 and her first day was last Friday. She has a wonderful teacher and several friends in her class (one of them is planning to marry her?!), but she's growing up. She's charming to talk to and I love watching her expressions and mannerisms...she's almost five! I remember her toddling around at 15 months old.

Sam had his 3-K orientation Monday and his first day is tomorrow. He was 4 lbs 15 oz just 3 short years ago. He has mixed emotions about the adventure...he loves the toys in the room, but isn't so sure about missing Momma. I did warn his teacher (who taught Kate last year) that Sam in not the chipper, compliant child that his sister is--I have a feeling we'll have more teacher/parent chats this year.

I guess some people are happy to send their kids to school...my sadness comes from looking back on the "baby" years and realizing that chapter is closing. I recognize that there are more wonderful adventures ahead, but I loved that chapter of life.

There's more freedom now (no real diaper bag), the kids are mobile and they love to do new things...but it makes me wonder what is next. So, I'll be spending some time thinking about that...praying...reflecting...

in between...we'll go to gymnastics, Chinese classes, local running events, school, Wednesday kids' church, field trips, and tune up the snowblower...