Monday, June 25, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Discipline
Discipline is a word that carries with it all sorts of meaning and baggage for most people. To some, the word conjures up the idea of punishment. Have you ever heard, "Just wait until your Father comes home..."? To others, they think of the military and boot camp. Some people think of it as practice or training.
I once thought that I was relatively well disciplined, but after dwelling on the subject for the last week, I'm not so sure. I've come to recognize that discipline in my life has been hindered in recent times by procrastination. I guess I've been thinking about this because my summer is now packed with things that need to be done.
Some people think they are disciplined because they have taken the time to develop skills in the areas in life they like or are good at. But, is that really what the word means? It's not hard for me to practice things that I am good at or enjoy; after all, it's what makes me feel good.
But what about the things I'm not good at, or am afraid of, or seem insurmountable? Those are the areas that require discipline from me and they are also the areas that make me want to run. The problem with running and avoidance is that the pressure to face those things becomes oppresive and unbearable. The pressure is also usually accompanied by becoming easily frustrated and easily annoyed by everyone and everything. The answer to alleviating the pressure is discipline. There has been nothing like the relief that has come from stopping, turning around, and facing the dragons in my life.
So, I'm having to ask myself what discipline is going to look like in my life this summer. It won't be self-flagulation, I've tried that and it doesn't work. A trial of self-flagulation makes one feel like they are doing something to punish themselves, but rarely brings about measurable change. Procrastination isn't working and it has a paralytic effect on progress. Trying to get others to do this stuff for me won't work either...no one else can take my board exam for me, rehab my injuries, or build valuable and lasting relationships for me.
I'm left with the realization that discipline is what it takes for me to get from where I am today, to where I want and need to be. It's the decisive and progressive journey that one embarks on to move on to a goal. It's not punishment, but without discipline in my life, it can lead to negative and undesireable consequences. So, it's time to intentionally carve out time to study for my exam, give up some of my time spent staring off into space, get on the floor and strengthen & stretch and finally, invest time in relationships. The most important relationships in my life deserve priority and time....even if it's a scary to let others get a little close.
I once thought that I was relatively well disciplined, but after dwelling on the subject for the last week, I'm not so sure. I've come to recognize that discipline in my life has been hindered in recent times by procrastination. I guess I've been thinking about this because my summer is now packed with things that need to be done.
Some people think they are disciplined because they have taken the time to develop skills in the areas in life they like or are good at. But, is that really what the word means? It's not hard for me to practice things that I am good at or enjoy; after all, it's what makes me feel good.
But what about the things I'm not good at, or am afraid of, or seem insurmountable? Those are the areas that require discipline from me and they are also the areas that make me want to run. The problem with running and avoidance is that the pressure to face those things becomes oppresive and unbearable. The pressure is also usually accompanied by becoming easily frustrated and easily annoyed by everyone and everything. The answer to alleviating the pressure is discipline. There has been nothing like the relief that has come from stopping, turning around, and facing the dragons in my life.
So, I'm having to ask myself what discipline is going to look like in my life this summer. It won't be self-flagulation, I've tried that and it doesn't work. A trial of self-flagulation makes one feel like they are doing something to punish themselves, but rarely brings about measurable change. Procrastination isn't working and it has a paralytic effect on progress. Trying to get others to do this stuff for me won't work either...no one else can take my board exam for me, rehab my injuries, or build valuable and lasting relationships for me.
I'm left with the realization that discipline is what it takes for me to get from where I am today, to where I want and need to be. It's the decisive and progressive journey that one embarks on to move on to a goal. It's not punishment, but without discipline in my life, it can lead to negative and undesireable consequences. So, it's time to intentionally carve out time to study for my exam, give up some of my time spent staring off into space, get on the floor and strengthen & stretch and finally, invest time in relationships. The most important relationships in my life deserve priority and time....even if it's a scary to let others get a little close.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Reflections on my Kids
I'm trying to take the time to photograph my kids as they grow and change. As I was reviewing my recent photos, I couldn't help but look at their beautiful eyes. How often do we fail to look closely at the expressions and emotions seen in their eyes?
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The Power of Words...
I think alot. Sometimes I think too much and it gets me in trouble. Over the past few days I've been thinking about words and their meaning. It seems that even the shortest, single syllable word can have a great deal of power in our lives. The two words that come to mind for me are "change" and "grace".
I don't like change. It hovers over me, haunts my routines and is unstoppable. I don't know why I fight it because change often brings a new level of joy and adventure to our lives. Maybe it's because I can't control many changes and I fear that God is one of those things that will change in my life. It seems odd that the One who assures us that He never changes is the one I fear will. I also find myself concentrating on trying to control the changes in life that are outside of my power. I guess I need a better understanding of the eternal, unchanging One to trust as I face the realities of life.
Which brings me to grace. I like grace or at least the concept of it, I just don't understand it. I read about it and it sounds very appealing. I just don't live my life as though it is available to me. Probably because I'm to busy trying to control change. A mentor once said to me, "You gain control by letting go..." I believe that's true...I just need the grace to do it.
I don't like change. It hovers over me, haunts my routines and is unstoppable. I don't know why I fight it because change often brings a new level of joy and adventure to our lives. Maybe it's because I can't control many changes and I fear that God is one of those things that will change in my life. It seems odd that the One who assures us that He never changes is the one I fear will. I also find myself concentrating on trying to control the changes in life that are outside of my power. I guess I need a better understanding of the eternal, unchanging One to trust as I face the realities of life.
Which brings me to grace. I like grace or at least the concept of it, I just don't understand it. I read about it and it sounds very appealing. I just don't live my life as though it is available to me. Probably because I'm to busy trying to control change. A mentor once said to me, "You gain control by letting go..." I believe that's true...I just need the grace to do it.
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